Songs

Here are three songs that I listen to a lot right now.  All three songs have links attached in this blog so that you can easily listen to them. 

The first song "SAFE" is very meaningful to me.  I heard about it from one of the women whom God connected us with, who has cared for Ryan in his Eastern European orphanage.  She wrote: 

"Back when I was volunteering at the orphanage, one of my favorite things to do was sing to the kids. More than just singing to them, I loved to sing words of hope and truth over them. I had a sort of repertoire of songs that I would sing and as I sang my prayer would be that, despite the language barrier, they would understand the meaning of those words in the depths of their soul and that they would fill them with strength, hope and peace. For some of my kids I had a special song that belonged to them. Although I might sing that same song to the other kids as well, it had a special meaning for the child it belonged to, words that captured the truths I so desperately wanted them to know, and I sang it over them as often as I could."

When I asked her if she has a special song for Ryan, she continued,

"It was Safe, by Phil Wickham.   I would sing that song over him all the time and pray that God's presence would be tangible to him as He held him in His arms and that He would send His angels to guard and protect him from everything around him. That continues to be my prayer. I cannot wait until Ryan is safe not only in the Father's arms but in yours as well."

(If you go to click on the song title- it will underline, then click on it and a new window will open up so you can hear the song on Youtube.)

Safe ~ Phil Wickham

I love hearing it and singing it.  I also think not only about his earthly home (Lord willing with us) but also his heavenly home where God is preparing a place for him and myself, and all of those who accept God's mercy and forgiveness through Christ's death.   I love the lines about "Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart"..and "Have you heard of the one...who can pull the lame up to their feet."  So perfect for Ryan, with his heart condition and his inability to walk.  Wow, songs can sure be powerful.

Here are two other songs that remind me of Ryan, esp. when I tweak the words in my head to fit our situation.

One is Find Me, by Selyne Maia...but it is more like "Till the day we find you or hold you" or something like that...and of course with other lyrical changes.  It is hard to find songs that fit just right.

Find Me ~ Selyne Maia

And another is from Fernando Ortega, called "If You Were Mine," from the album "This Bright Hour".

If You Were Mine ~ Fernando Ortega

It wasn't until this posting that I found out that Fernando wrote this song after he and his wife Margee had attempted to adopt a child, and after the long process it was unable to be completed.  Praying this doesn't fit our situation too closely after all.  But, I am thankful that God is the God of all comfort and if our hearts get broken (and in this world there is no promise that they won't and in fact the Bible makes it clear that we will suffer and experience hurt)...He will be there to comfort me.   

If there are other songs that you think I would like, please pass them along! I love to hear new music.

Thanks for listening, Julie

This is totally bananas!!!

Hi everyone.  What I'm about to ask of you is, as I said in the title, totally bananas.  In a couple of hours, a local filmmaker is coming to our house to film an interview with Julie and I.  He will then make a teaser for a documentary he wants to film about Ryan's adoption story.  Yes.  That's really what I said.  Please pray that if God wants this film to be made for His glory, He will open that door.

This filmmaker is hoping to use the teaser he will shoot tonight along with a fundraising website called "Kickstarter" to raise the funds necessary for himself and his sound guy to make the film.  He hopes to interview people all over the globe (via Skype or something like it) who have been praying for and advocating for Ryan since he was a wee lad, travel with us to film the fundraisers that our friends are doing to help cover the cost of Ryan's adoption, and even to travel with us to Eastern Europe for when we first meet Ryan. 

His goal is to make a film that advocates for adoption and highlights the lengths that our all-powerful, totally loving God will go to in order to place his children in families.  This could really happen!!!  I take great comfort and get super excited about the fact that this is not a film about Julie and I...but about the JOY of adoption and the GOD that first adopted us.  So...pray that if God wants this film to be made, he'll provide the funding for it to happen.  The teaser could be online in the next week or so.  We'll keep you posted!

-Chris

USCIS

Major paperwork part 2 of 3 has been completed.  We have sent in our USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) papers and are waiting to hear that they have arrived at their destination.  It usually takes about 2 months for them to look over the papers and information we sent and then to make a decision of approval or not.  They are looking to see that Chris and I have done everything on our end legally (adoption home study, marriage, etc.) and that Ryan is a legally adoptable orphan from his country in Eastern Europe. 

We have requested that the USCIS process be expedited due to Ryan's medical needs and our pediatrician sent a letter recommending the same thing.  Later we will call our senator to see if they can make sure that our case is getting processed in a timely fashion.  The timeline from here on out is out of our control and totally at the hands of others.  It can also vary greatly depending on hundreds of factors.  Our desire is still to have Ryan home with us before the end of the summer.  We would appreciate prayers that we will wait on God's perfect timing, and that He will be preparing Ryan, our hearts, and our family for this transition.  

God's personal, specific, and powerful encouragement have been very sweet to us during this time.  Thanks for your prayers and for the role you have in this story! 

Thanks, Julie

Learning to Trust

Today was a bit crazy as we set out to hammer out the last bit of our adoption paperwork.  Our PC crashed a couple of days ago and we still can’t get it up and running, my laptop was out of commission for almost 3 hours today (but is back up in working order), our finalized home study has yet again another error (so we still can’t move on to the next step in the adoption process), we “lost” one of our needed documents on the computer (it was there, but would not pull up), when I retyped it and tried to print it the printer was out of ink, the restaurant we went to was closed for dinner tonight…you get the idea.  So the following conversation (spreading through facebook) is a little over the top and a bit cheesy, but the lesson is valuable, and timely.  I wonder how God is moving today, and if we will know this side of eternity?  So glad He is trustworthy!  

Me: God, can I ask you a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise you won't get mad ...

God: I promise

Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do you mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?

God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed): Ok

God: Your phone went dead because the person who was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good & the bad.

Me: I will trust you

God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children...

Today was a hard day for Chris and I.  There are parts of this process that are really stressful and we are both exhausted from staying up late working on the paperwork.  We got into a conflict this morning, were able to talk at lunch and apologize to each other.  This afternoon we continued to try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and to forbear with one another.  Please pray for us that we will remember that God's timing is perfect and that we will act like we believe it.  Thanks! 

Home Study and Easy

J:  This will let you know 1) where we are in the adoption process and 2) the thoughts swirling about in my head.

Things with the adoption are progressing well.  For those not familiar with the process there are a number of significant paperwork bridges to cross.  The first is the home study.  We got to celebrate the completion of this step this in January… until an error was found (a later blog will be about that problem turned miracle-in-disguise.) We just got it back today (2-9-12) so celebrate with us! Wahoo! 

Our home study in general has a large mark of God’s perfect plan on it.  We had to rush like mad to get our first home study completed for our youngest daughter’s adoption back in 2010.  We were matched with her birth-mom in December 2009 and had not yet even started the home study process… and she was born early in March 2010!  It was a whirlwind trying to get all the paperwork done and we prayed that our home study would be completed quickly and in time.  When we got the call that her birth mom was in labor, and as we traveled over state lines to be there for the birth of our daughter I confess I had to fight lies that God didn’t care, or that he didn’t hear our prayer, as we still were waiting to hear that our home study was finalized.  Chris says that he remembers clearly when our social worked called on that road trip, just a few hours before we got to the hospital, to say that our home study had been approved.  Later we found out that it was actually finalized just days before she was born. Whew, we had our faith stretched!  To us it appeared that God came through just in the nick of time.  Now I see he was way ahead of us, growing our faith muscle, and preparing us for another adoption.

That particular home study was set to expire in March of 2012, so when we found out about Ryan in the end of October 2011, we determined that by acting fast we would only have to update our home study as well as convert it from domestic to international, without having to start from the very beginning.  Now, if our first home study had been approved earlier as we had prayed, we would have missed the opportunity to simply update our home study!   This cut down on a lot of paperwork, and about $2000, but most importantly it saved precious time (even though it still took over 3 months to do).  Lord willing, Ryan will be home with us a lot sooner because this step was shortened quite considerably.  And, perhaps, I won’t be as crazy :)

So now we are working on the second stack of paperwork called the USCIS, for Ryan to become a citizen when he enters US soil as our son.  USICS stands for U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services.  We need to follow the “Orphan Process”.  Once completed and turned in this usually takes about 2 months to get approval.  Some of the various aspects of this hurdle, if you are interested, are to prove that we are U.S. citizens, establish that we will provide proper parental care to the child, confirm that Ryan is an “orphan” as defined in U.S. immigration law, and that Chris and I have plans to meet him in person before the adoption proceedings…and then the government will verify that we have obtained a valid adoption or grant of custody, prove that the child does not have an illness or disability that is not described in the orphan petition, determine whether the child has any special needs that were not fully addressed in our home study, and determine whether there are any facts showing that the child does not qualify for immigration as our adopted child- I have no idea how they will do all that, but when they do…they will approve it, Lord willing! 

                Later, I will blog more about the third hunk of paper work…the dossier!  But for now, although the paperwork is time consuming and tedious, we are so thankful that we get to do it.  I love thinking about Ryan and the nights that I can do “work” on his behalf eases the pain of being away from him.  Each day God is growing my love for this little guy.  Some days it hardly seems possible that I have never actually met him; my love for him is so great.  What an act of God and what a blessing!  If he can change my heart, he can change any ones.

2)  Just some reflections…

I know that God doesn’t promise “easy”.  When you read about people that love God (Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Esther…) they never had it easy.  And those who follow, Jesus (the Jesus who certainly didn’t have it easy, not from the second He was born till his agonizing death) like Paul, the disciples, Julie Zaragoza from Fishersofmenmexico.org, the staff of Back2Back (see many of the blogs that I follow), Katie from the book Kisses from Katie, the high-schooler whose parents don’t understand her love for Christ, the wife following the Lord who has an unfaithful husband, parents grieving the death of their child, the person in my home group who has to forgive another believer, and many other Christians all over the world- they don’t have it “easy”.  Since I have decided to follow Jesus as well, I don’t know why I would expect that it will be easy for me, but I do. 

That being said, there is something about a life committed to following the Lord and the joy and peace that comes with it that I want for myself- a dependence on the Lord and an inward transformation (which come from a very intimate relationship with Him) that looks even more appealing than “easy”.  God seems to be growing that tension in me- in the small and large choices that I get to make about how I spend my thoughts, time, energy, money and life.  Lord help me grow in your love, so that I will be strengthened to follow the plans you have for me…to seek not what is easy, comfortable, familiar, and socially acceptable, but to seek what you would have me do and to be who you have died for me be.

Sometimes I just can't (edited & hopefully less cryptic)

Sometimes it's like there is a log jam my soul.  There is so much to say, so much happening, so much to reflect on and process...that I just can't get any of it out.  I want to tell all of you everything.  All of the miraculous things God is doing to rescue Ryan, all the amazing ways people are supporting us, all the encouragement God is sending through people (via text, email, random donations), verses, songs, etc...  But that would take too long.  And I couldn't find the words if I tried.  But I will try.  Not tonight.  But little by little, I'll try.  The story God is weaving as he "leaves the 99 and goes after the one" is easily one of the most exciting things I've ever seen and it needs to be told to give God the glory he is due.  But sometimes I can't believe it's really happening, and I just can't process it all...
For now, thank you for praying for Ryan.  Please keep fighting for my little boy...please keep praying.

-Chris

What Now?

Today my friend Linda told me about this song: What Now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1YcViDGO28

While I was watching the video I just had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for Ryan's orphanage and the care takers there.  I am thankful for this change in my heart and in my thinking.  I am thankful that he is there, in an orphanage, and that he is NOT homeless and living on the streets all alone, NOT abandoned in a field somewhere, NOT thrown out in a garbage dump.  He has been found, he is known, he is cared for (as best as he can be, with the knowledge, information, experience, staff, and funding that they have).  He is loved by people all over the world.  People are praying for him daily.  And we are praying for him to come home, to be our son, to be a part of our family and our extended family, to be in our neighborhood, to get the medical care he needs, to belong in our circle of friends, to be in our Christian fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ...to be LOVED.

There ARE kids in those circumstances for which I am grateful that Ryan is not...Lord, move us to action and then comfort our hearts.

The verse that keeps coming to my mind is, "Give thanks in all circumstances..." from 1 Thessalonians 5:18.  The rest of the verse is "for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."  I don't fully understand what that second part means, but so far God's ways for my life have been better that I could have ever hoped for or imagined, so I will continue to practice trusting Him.