Tomorrow will be
Ryan’s 1 year home anniversary. I can
hardly believe that Ryan has been home for a whole year! On August 18, 2012 Chris and I stepped off
the plane in Columbus and Ryan met his sisters for the first time, and we began
our life as a new family of six. I blogged
one time, telling everyone he was home and then not again, till now.
I have a strange
concoction of perfectionism and procrastination in me. And, I don’t always have the time to get out
what I want, don’t want to make the time to write, or can’t put into words what
is happening…and honestly a lot of the time I just needed to have Ryan be my
son, and not an “orphan-no-more.” We
needed to be a family; who rejoices with our friends, cries with those we
trust, battles things out with our God and basks in His approval-alone. We are
still learning how to do these things!
This year has
been incredibly amazing. I am going to
share the highlights with you because I want the world to see what God has
done, particularly in Ryan’s life this last year, but also in our family. I wanted to have a super neat photo montage
of all of the things he has experienced, but didn't have the time to put it together…so,
you get a long post that doesn't even have music playing in the background. Please don’t forget that sprinkled in the
midst of all of the “firsts” and amazing things that God has done were long
days, sinful attitudes on our part, hundreds of sleepless nights, pride, bad
parenting, fights, and the other things that threaten to steal joy or did for a
bit. We are not a perfect family,
parents, neighbors, or Christians…that is why we cling to the cross of Christ
and need His death to pay for our sins.
We
often think of all the people who prayed for Ryan before we even knew about
him, those who joined us in raising funds to bring him home, the staff from
Reece’s Rainbow, the ground crew in Ukraine, the Xenos students who encouraged
us with their enthusiasm and love, the prayer warriors who got Ryan home and
are still lifting us up, for those who brought and are still bringing meals,
the servants who have watched the kids for any length of time, for those who
provided clothes and gifts for Ryan, who have come to visit and support us, for
you who are praying about adopting, have adopted, or are burdened for orphan
care (especially Natalie), and for our family who has embraced Ryan
whole-heartedly…here is a glimpse (in writing…sure wish it was pictures, maybe
someday) of the best of this last year, with the focus being on Ryan, and what
a treasure he is!
Tonight I fed Ryan
healthy food pureed and served on a small spoon so he could enjoy every bite,
gave him sips of fresh good smelling water, put on his soft pj’s sewed to fit
him perfectly, brushed his snow white teeth lined up like soldiers, rocked him,
sung to him, and let him nuzzle into his mommy’s neck- my neck. Once in a while, like tonight, he falls asleep
in my arms. I transferred him to his own
bed in his own room. He laid beside a
quilt handmade just for him and teddy bears that his grandparent picked out for
him as tokens of their love. All of
those things have been new for Ryan this year.
We took him to
the zoo for the first time in Ukraine. I
wore him in a front infant carrier. He
got his passport. He took his first
train ride a few days later and stayed awake the whole night long…flew on
airplanes, became a US citizen, and then met his older sister and two younger
sisters. We were all exhausted but
refreshed by the sweet welcome home our family and friends gave us at the
airport.
Ryan spent his
first week in the United States in Children’s Hospital. Long story short, he was very malnourished,
but was overall healthy. He doesn’t have
Noonan Syndrome, but does have a chromosomal deletion of 7q, that accounts for
many of his physical anomalies and developmental delays. His heart has 2 minor defects, not even worth
mentioning. What? Yes, praise the Lord his heart is
healthy! What an answer to prayer!
Ryan made a trip a
few weeks later to Grand Rapids to meet his Grandma and Grandpa-Great, Tante (aunt),
uncles and cousins. The following weekend
we went back to attend Grandpa-Great’s funeral.
Ryan traveled like a champ and the girls loved the reunion with my
sister and her family and my mom and dad (after spending 4 weeks with them,
while we were in Ukraine.)
He got glasses
and looks so handsome. Ryan’s brown eyes
and long lashes just look all the more magnificent through them…no bias here! He had his lifelong ear infection cleared up,
got tubes in, and hearing aids. He has
been making more and more sounds each month now that he can hear. His teeth are in remarkable shape- only due
to genetics (other kids in his orphanage had horrific dental issues)- has gone to
the dentist twice, lost his first tooth, and allows us to brush them daily. He likes mint toothpaste.
He began occupational
therapy- 3 kinds: developmental, speech and feeding. In his first 3 months home he gained 40% of
his body weight. He is no longer
malnourished and his failure-to-thrive has been broken. He can now bite food but spits out most of
the pieces, can chew if I place the food in certain parts of his mouth and
enjoys his meals, complete with “mmmm” sounds after the most delicious
bites. Yogurt and pudding are still his
favorites and of course ice cream, like his mama! His speech is very delayed from him being
almost completely deaf for the first 5 ½ years of his life and living in an
institution. We are seeing progress and
hope to hit this area very hard for the next 2 years. He can say one word, “Mama” but saves it only
for the sweetest of moments. He can use
his hands now. It was as if he didn’t
even know he had them when he first came home.
He can now play with toys, hold objects and pet our dog. The next goal is mastering the finger pinch
and pointing.
He has
been in physical therapy and can now walk (without any braces or walker) and
step over small things, get up to standing without using anything to lift or
pull himself up and can climb, fast! He
can walk…I still can’t get over that, and at times almost run. What a miracle.
When Ryan first
came home we needed lots of time to just be together, to figure out one another
and get through the massive amounts of doctor’s appointments and evaluations. After 5 months we decided that half day
pre-school, 4 afternoons a week would be most beneficial. His teachers were incredible, his driver
Norma was a God-send, and his classmates were wonderful. Ryan made his first friend there a delightful
“typical” boy, Jonah…they even went to each other’s birthday parties. Watching that friendship develop was simply
indescribable. Ryan’s time at school was
a needed respite for me and a chance for him to excel in areas in which I have
no expertise. Having been denied the
chance of being educated for his entire life, we see school for the blessing it
is.
For the first
time ever, even taking the day he was born into account, people celebrated Ryan’s
life at his 6th birthday party.
It was Robot themed, but even better than that was that it was a great
vision of the importance of each and every life, no matter how far from the American
ideal, or Ukrainian for that matter, is valuable. Ryan was never a healthy baby…but he sure is
desired and we are blessed to have him!
This summer Ryan went to the Ohio State Fair,
got to swim, went horseback riding, had more trips to the zoo, and went for
bike rides. He loves swinging and can do
the slide at our park- all by himself! He
had his first week away from Chris and I, while we were treated to a
Californian vacation filled with laugher, games and surfing for a week with our
dear friends. Ryan did great at his Oma
and Opa’s house- and they did too!
Ryan’s favorite
things are putting plastic bags over his head, electrical cords around his neck
and putting his face in water and then laughing…and no, I am not joking. Of course, we prohibit all of these things…but
oh boy is he quick and silent like a stealth bomber…so we need to watch him ALL
the time! Since he can’t do those things
his second set of enjoyable things are toys that vibrate, light up, and spin,
being tossed in the air, and being pulled in a wagon.
I could write
pages about how the girls interact with him and love him so. Their lives are just as enriched by having
Ryan as their brother as Ryan is blessed by them. God certainly knows what He is doing.
Last week Ryan
started Kindergarten, full day, every day.
Due to Ryan’s age, his window for maximum achievement in language and cognition
is going to be closing drastically in the next 2 years. We are trying to balance the family time he
has never had with all the opportunities for development we can. The transition (not having Ryan home as much)
has been hardest on me, but seeing Ryan’s excitement and hearing his teacher
and therapists’ visions of gains helps me know this is the right decision for
us. The full day allows for Ryan to have more therapies each week and it will
also allow me to be able to help the girls in their classrooms, navigate the
transportation aspects of this year better, have time with the two youngest before
they are in school all day, as well as getting me some down time to keep house,
process my thoughts, study the Bible, and hopefully cook more. Chris has been unbelievable this year,
especially taking over grocery shopping and the majority of the meals.
Ryan is content, easygoing, under-sensitive
(which is an awesome fit for our family), super cute and still small at 22
pounds. He fits into our family
perfectly. God has met EVERY single need
we have had and even a lot of our “wants”.
He has shown us His power in our weakness, that He is trustworthy financially
and relationally as well as in a hundred other areas, and that He is very
forgiving and gracious…as we see our sin all the more clearly as we walk with
Him and follow where He leads.
I hope that in
this next year I can share some pictures with you, especially for those of you
who live far way, even overseas, and have been praying for Ryan and our family. We have only made it through our first year
home…we need your prayers and support for the many, Lord wiling, years yet to
come. Thank you my friends for
celebrating all that God has done this last year. To Him be the Glory!
Love, Julie
