Anxiety and Answers

J:

We have our travel dates, our plane tickets and just about every thing else is unknown and out of our control.  This is (just another time) when I start freaking out; when my anxiety kicks in, my thoughts run wild, and fears start to form.  There is a lot to do (pack, dr appts, papers for the girls schooling, clean, friends to spend time with, a marriage to be maintained, three precious kids to care for who have questions I can't answer...and the list goes on and on.  Actually, I now have a list of things that I write down that won't get done.

Last night Chris and I prayed about this, and "this" really is my sin- not trusting that God is good, or powerful, or in control.  And He is-all 3!  More loving and gracious than I can imagine.  In my autonomy and self sufficiency, I don't listen to Him and so last night I prayed that He would help me listen.

Early this morning, when my anxiety woke me up, He spoke these tender words to me:

"For He will deliver the needy when he cries for help, the afflicted also, and him who has no helper.  He will have compassion on the poor and needy, and the lives of the needy He will save.  He will rescue their life from opression and violence, and their blood will be precious in His sight...
Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone works wonders.  And blessed be His glorious name forever; and may the whole earth be filled with His glory.  Amen, and Amen."   

Psalm 72:12-14, 18 and 19

I was going to continue working through Gospel Transformation, and was supposed to read Psalm 73 for my lesson, but God allowed me to see the Bible page before, and His Word came alive to transform and comfort me.  Praise His name!

Reminds me of a song...

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS

"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

• "Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
    Morning by morning new mercies I see;
  All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
      "Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

© 1923. Ren. 1951 Hope Publishing Co., Carol Stream, IL 60188
www.hopepublishing.com

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/19#ixzz1zMyJrrFu

Expecting- 3rd Trimester

I (J) am definitely "expecting".  Finally feeling like I am in the last trimester.  Wahoo!  Ryan's bed is up and ready, clean and cute boy sheets and all.  Sorted through and got his clothes ready (thanks for the donations, my friends).  We are waiting on travel dates.  And as we "wait" we know that God is still busy at work.  Thanks for your prayers!

8th Graders' Surprise

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations…”  Jeremiah 29:11-14

            C: Friday was a day of ups and downs.  Bitter and sweet.  It started off with a really neat visit from a family that visited Ryan’s orphanage on a mission trip 2 years ago.  They were instrumental in connecting us with people all around the globe who have been praying for not only for Ryan and that God would prepare a family to adopt him.  It was GREAT to meet them and get to pray with them. 

            It was also really hard to hear what they had to say about the day-to-day, real-life conditions for a child in an orphanage in Eastern Europe.  It’s no mystery that kids with special needs do not get the same level of care in many other countries as they do here, but I guess it was the first time it really hit home that my son has spent the first 5 years of his life in…well…a less than desirable institutional setting.  To sit and talk with real people who have seen Ryan and the other kids he is there with, and hearing them describe just a little of what my son lives with day in & day out, it felt like I just got punched in the stomach.  I wanted to cry, scream or throw up.  (I’m understanding more and more why God says “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress” James 1:27).

            Then, around 5:00 I got a friendly (but kind of cryptic) text message from the parent of one of my students (who just graduated!!!) inviting me to join the students at the end of the year dance party hosted at the school by a few of the parents.  I sort of thought the idea was for there to NOT be any teachers there, but I didn’t have any plans, I was invited and I love spending time with my students, so I decided to go.  HOLY COW was I in for a surprise!

            IT WAS A SET-UP!  They TOTALLY tricked me, in the best way ever!  I got there, said a few “hellos” and then almost right away one of the parents asked me to turn all the lights on in the gym.  At this point I’m thinking “Well, that sort of kills the dance-party atmosphere, but, OK.”  Then it got even stranger…all the kids sort of circled around me (in a friendly way).  I expected maybe a few to say “hi” but this was just felt a bit out of the ordinary.  Which it was because next, Allison (Smiley) tells me they decided to charge admission to the dance and donate all the proceeds to Ryan’s adoption!  WHAT!?!  She handed me an envelope with HUNDREDS of dollars for Ryan!  WAHOO!!!!  Can you believe this is real?  The students had planned this whole thing without me having a clue.  Coolest surprise ever.

            Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, two girls yelled “PRAYER CIRCLE!”  So almost the entire 8^th grade class of 2012 circled up, sat down and spent 20 or 30 minutes praying for Ryan and my family.  Unbelievable.  The whole experience was both humbling and very emotional for me.  I’m not a dude who never cries, and I don’t cry a lot…but I certainly shed some tears when my students prayed for Ryan.  Besides a few short-term missionaries from the other side of the globe, my son has never in his entire life had anyone love on him, pray for him, sing to him, tickle him, hold his hand at the doctor, celebrate his birthday, whisper to him just how precious he is…and here are 30+ students who have never met him circled up fighting for him in prayer.  I can’t imagine a greater gift my students could give me or my son. 

            So, contrast the two experiences.  The first, thinking about the real conditions Ryan lives in almost broke me.  Then God shouted to me “I have plans that you don’t know about!”  “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations…”  Jeremiah 29:11-14 

Silent Auction and Wine Tasting

May 12, 2012 (Julie)

Tonight felt like a rehearsal dinner or maybe even a wedding reception.   It was beautiful.  We were in an outdoor…the best way to describe it is, living room.   Lanterns, flickering candles, fresh hot pink peonies, a cozy fire…tall wine tables, carefully hand crafted.  Food more delicious than can be imagined;  Ceviche made just minutes before being served, 13 hour slow braised meat over polenta, homemade pizza cooked in the backyard oven an Asian coleslaw sprinkled with pears and peanuts, and 3 other delectable dishes all perfectly paired with a generous portion of wine- SEVEN different types throughout the evening!  And nothing snooty; the evening was warm, inviting, and had the air of a huge celebration.  And celebration it was!  The hosts Mandy and Chris Wilson joined with Donnie Austin from House Wine in Worthington and his wife, Megan, to create an incredible fundraiser for Ryan.  Over 50 people pulling together to do what we couldn’t do alone.  Friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and even those we didn’t know beforehand came to stand beside us and support us on this journey, and most importantly love Ryan home.

Chris, Mandy, Donnie- there is no way we can even begin to thank you for your love for us, for all of your time, effort, and HARD work that you put into this night, for the beauty of an incredible evening, for your passionate concern for one little orphan in Eastern Europe and for allowing your hearts (and talents) to be moved to action to bring Ryan home.  Our prayer is that your blessings will continue to abound, especially as you see Ryan in our family, finally home with a mom and a dad, and three adoring sisters… knowing that you played a huge role.  I can’t wait for him to meet you and the others who have “heard” his cry and have chosen to be moved to action.  

Over the course of the night tears spilling silently out of the corners of my eyes was pretty common.  So many people came and showed their support for us, for the value of human life, for Ryan; many invigorating conversations were had, sincere and difficult questions asked in sensitive ways, and I was able to meet a whole community of fascinating people!  Telling and retelling stories of the miracles that God has already done for this little guy, knowing full well that Chris and I do not deserve to be a part of anything so wonderful, in awe that we have the joy of being willing participants- that brings me to tears.  Remembering how God has pursued me like this, to win me over with His love, His kindness bringing me to repentance, over and over again, going to great lengths- even death…that moves me.  Reece’s Rainbow has a phrase that they use often, “You don’t have to adopt to make a difference!  Even if you are not in a position to adopt there are countless ways to help these sweet children…”  And tonight was evidence of that.      

Generous donations completely filled a table, making the silent auction a complete success.  From a signed, James Laurinaitis mini Riddell OSU helmet to a gift certificate for a Resume Critique and Interview tips from the Recruiting Manager at Manta, the bases were covered.  There were also four pieces of custom-designed CEB fine sterling silver jewelry, 3 Silpada jewelry pieces, an entire days work from a gentleman doing remodeling and carpentry (and, no it wasn’t Chris), a Joan Selle Zeller “Serenity” Mobile (which I had to evoke so much self-control just not to bid on it myself), three handcrafted pink tulle tutus, six Chicago-Style Deep Dish Pizzas from Lou Malnait’s, two purses, a legal will from a local attorney, a $50 gift certificate for a Fondant Fantasies cake, Jenny Floch pottery…and the big bang for the night was a $500 airplane ticket voucher from Frontier Airline- someone just saved $200…and then magnanimously poured back to Ryan!  The donations for the night far outweighed the cost of the items.  Thank you to all of you who helped make the silent auction part of the night a wild success:  Chris and Mandy Forbes, Frontier Airlines, Davina Alloway, Jenny Floch, Danielle Murphy, Carole Bucklew, Joan Zeller, Chad and Lisa Faiella, Jay and Retta Hurlbert, Ray and Sandy Faulkner, Edward Bain, as well as Chic-fil-A and Trader Joe’s for their food donation.

One other feature of the night was the “Mystery Wine.”  Donnie Austin, the certified sommelier at House Wine in Worthington carefully selected 50, or so, bottles of wine, carefully and secretly wrapped by his wife Megan.  All of the bottles were popular and favorite wine, but slipped in were some AMAZING wines!  So for 25 bucks you were guaranteed a good bottle, with the chance of scoring huge- like a $300 bottle of wine.   And all the proceeds, every penny went straight to Ryan’s adoption fund, as did every cent from the ticket sales and silent auction items.  I still can’t believe this was real…  So here is the amazing thing (if all of this is not amazing enough), at the end of the night there were about 20 bottles left and a young man Jake (who volunteered the whole day setting up and manning the sound system, music, mics, you name it!) noticed that if those bottles sold we would make our financial goal…he felt compelled to make an announcement and the mystery wine table was RUSHED, the wine was gone- just like that- gone! Every. Last. Bottle. Gone.  I was in complete shock. And, still am.

                I pray I will never get over moments like these.  This will be a sign post for the rest of my life.  Thank you again Mandy, Chris and Donnie, and to all those who prayed for this event, who helped behind the scenes, setting up, purchasing and preparing food, serving the guests (Mr. and Mrs. Forbes, Molly and Chad Trumbo, Jamie and Adam Rapp, Jake Hoffer, Megan Cavanaugh, Paulie Alexander).  Thank you to those who came bringing an incredible ethos of lavish contribution and love, to those who pledged continued support in creative and heart-felt ways, and to those who were unable to attend in person but sent encouraging messages and financial backing as well- THANK YOU.  To God be the glory, Great things He has done!  What a night!   

There are 163 million orphans in this world...We are going after ONE!  

Dossier...and AHHH!

I (Julie) thought I would give you all an update on our dossier.  A dossier is all the paperwork required by the country from which you want to adopt.  It is around 50 different documents, totaling around 175 sheets of paper…once completed, it all gets translated and then bound into a 350 page book, stitched and sewn together by hand- pretty neat.  We want to extend a HUGE thank you for your prayers...there was definitely a miracle!  Stop reading this paragraph if you want the long version with all the ups and downs, and don’t want the ending given away and skip down to “Long Story”).  Short story, we missed our second deadline, but were given a week extension from Ryan’s country for our paperwork/dossier to be submitted - instead of a month penalty!  This is HUGE!!!!  So the process moves forward without too much delay- and our dossier is in Eastern Europe and set to be reviewed.   Thanks again for praying!

Long Story:

The "AHHHH's!" in this story are a combination of my flesh and my spiritual training; disappointments, me pulling out my hair, and tears, combined with prayers that God grows my faith to trust in His power and goodness and that He also gets us on His time table.  I have come away realizing the silliness of me thinking I can control anything and a wonder at how great He is and His plans are (even when I don't see the end yet).  And at times like this I have to go back to Jesus dying on the cross for my sins as the best example of His goodness and His power. 

Here is the long detailed story.  I had to get this down somewhere, it is just too incredible.  We were preregistered in Ryan’s country and given a date in April that the courts in Eastern Europe (EE) would accept our dossier- which is called being submitted.  Our dossier has been complete for a while, except for one document.  The missing piece was our USCIS or US government’s approval.  Our USCIS application was turned in in February along with a letter from our pediatrician urging the government to expedite our case due to Ryan's medical needs.  We have also been working with our congressman to help speed this process along.  Despite this, we missed our first adoption paperwork deadline in April in Eastern Europe (EE) because we still did not have our USCIS approval.  No one had any idea that we wouldn't have received approval by April- what a wait. AHHH!

So, since we missed our deadline, EE re-registered us for a May 10th deadline, and would be able to receive our paperwork between 10-11am.... Anyways, by the last week of April, we still hadn't received confirmation!  AHHH!!!  After many calls from us and our congressman urging a decision, we were given USCIS approval on Tuesday, May 1!  (see last blog posting)  GOOD and a sweet answer to prayer!  We needed the letter in the mail by Friday, May 7th to make our deadline.  So our thoughts were, if we can get it by 2:30, when the mail usually comes on Friday, then we can bring it to the Secretary of State’s Office, get it apostilled before 5:00 when they close for the weekend, and have the whole dossier sent via FedEx, DHL, or UPS Friday night…which would get it there two days or perhaps the day before our deadline- PERFECT!  Our crew on the ground in-country would have time to translate the new pages and get it to the EE courthouse in plenty of time.  We prayed.   Low and behold, Chris’s doctor appointment even got cancelled that Friday afternoon and we thought that for sure, this is it!!!  So I waited by the mail box and did NOT get it.  AHHH!!  Backup plan- Chris went to the Secretary of States office, while I tried to get USCIS to have our letter faxed there, and this next part is in itself a long story, but I will make it short…We tried everything to get a copy of our approval emailed or faxed to us, to make our deadline, but our USCIS officer wouldn't budge.  Chris waited at the Secretary of State’s office until the doors shut, leaving without what we needed.   AHHH!!

Ok, new plan…We prayed to get it in the mail on Saturday the 5th so that we would at least have Sunday to try to figure things out and not have to wait till Monday afternoon and we did! ANSWER TO PRAYER!  But, because we got the approval letter on a weekend, we still couldn't get it apostilled (a special seal) at the Secretary of State until Monday, when they reopened- AHHH!  We thought there was no way to make the deadline, until we found out about a special FedEx shipment method.  So here came the newest grand plan- or so we thought...

Saturday and Sunday we worked for hours with FedEx to open a special account allowing us to ship “Next Flight” on a commercial jet (hard to do since 9-11) and have a courier hand deliver the dossier door-to-door.   They said they could get it to EE for delivery on Wednesday afternoon- perfect. YES!!!  God even provided a generous couple, willing to pay the pretty penny to use this service!  This time frame would still allow the team on the ground there time to translate the documents that still needed to be done in order to turn it in at 10:00am the next morning.  There was mention of a holiday and having to hire more expensive couriers, but not much more was said about that.  We went to FedEx that night, while our neighbor sat for our kids, so we could get all the boxes weighed and measured,  the customs forms filled out (over 18), and all of the shipping labels written out correctly.  At last three packages- containing pounds of papers and documents, checked and put in order, notarized, county certified, and apostilled…and on and on- were ready to go!  This was it! 

You can imagine my surprise when I called FedEx early Monday morning and they said they couldn’t promise delivery on Wednesday anymore, but only on Thursday by 4:00pm- too late!  AHHHH!  We were still unsure of the confusion; the “holiday” was mentioned again, saying that customs would most likely be closed.  But, we decided to go for it anyways, praying for a miracle. 

So, first thing Monday morning Chris was at the Secretary of State’s office waiting for the doors to open to get our USCIS approval apostilled.  I took Honey B to school, then took the other girls with me to Chris’ school and picked it up the long awaited document from him.  I came home and got our 3 FedEx boxes ready, all the shipping labels re-filled out (there had been a change in that process too), and called the courier- hoping he could come before noon.   Chris came home from lunch and it was crazy…so another teacher, Anna, offered to take his afternoon classes so that he could be here to assist me and help get everything out correctly and on time…and watch the kids.  So thankful for Anna’s help! 

The courier came to our house to bring the documents directly to the airport, but got here around 1:30, and had even more paperwork for us to fill out.  He left our house at 2:45, with our precious dossier.  The plane that he needed to catch left from the Columbus airport at 4:00 for NY.  A gap too close for comfort. The courier called at 3:45, saying that the documents were out of his hands, but couldn't guarantee that they were on the flight- that depended on the team to which the dossier was passed.   AHHH!  Talk about suspense!  A call at 7pm confirmed that they HAD made it on the flight to NY, and were ready to be loaded on the plane to EE. YES!   We prayed they would get there in time...

Come to find out our paperwork did get there on Wednesday, YES!!! , which was "on time" but, it WAS a national holiday, so our paperwork sat in the airport because there were no customs agents there to clear it.  AHHH!!!  So, it got cleared on Thursday, May 10 and from there we just had to wait.  We had no word all day on Thursday.  FedEx confirmed delivery, but that was all the information we had.  Did they really get it, could they turn it in later that day?  No word.  Then on Friday morning as I was leaving to get Honey B to school with the girls the phone rang…Yes it did get delivered on Thursday but didn't reach the destination until 1:30, missing the 10-11 o'clock window.  AHHH!!!  But, that was only the first part of the news…

Our friend, Jennie, sent out an email on Monday, asking our friends to pray "that people would be willing to do things in this situation that they wouldn't normally do," and God answered that prayer...by a government doing what they normally would not do, giving us a week extension!  So our paper work is there in Eastern Europe and they will have a whole week to double check it, translate it, and carefully get it to its destination this week.  Lord willing, it will be ready at the door at 10:00 on the date of our appointment.  What an answer to prayer!!!!!

And this good news was given to us on Friday, the day before our big Columbus, OH fundraiser- The Wine Tasting and Silent Auction!  Join us at the next posting for another story of God’s amazing power!

Timely Encouragement-USCIS

May 10, 2012 - J

            

             These last few weeks have been incredibly difficult for me emotionally.  I think this is  pretty common for the typical adoption process.  I just wish that knowing that would make the feelings seem less real or permanent or something, but still they come and go... There have been a lot of unknowns, setbacks, and disappointments with our paper work, the adoption process, and fundraising efforts.  And mixed in with those not so nice feelings- joys, excitement, and progress in those same categories- my feelings have been all over the place.  Obviously all of these things are much more complex than I am, the outcomes are out of my control, and the timeline for this adoption process is unable to be nailed down. 

But, here is one amazing, amazing thing!  I just want to shout! There is a song I used to sing when I was little, “I will rejoice for He has made me glad” and I cannot stop singing that song today! 

The quick good news is that we were given our USCIS approval today, on May 1, 2012- which is the US government’s approval for Chris and I to adopt internationally and for Ryan, that when he is adopted and brought to American soil he will be our son, and an American citizen.  WOW!  This is huge and a much needed encouragement!  Glad to celebrate this milestone with you!

The CAB concert update

Whew!  It has been a while.  Alright lots of updates, but this is a bit about the concert 46NYC threw to benefit Ryan.  I am overwhelmed in many ways, but we need to get started again on this blogging thing…we want you to be able to continue your involvement in Ryan’s story.  Glad you are here! 

First, we are so thankful for all of the ways that people have shown their concern and love for Ryan and support for our family.  Family, friends, neighbors and strangers (now friends) alike…your creativity, generosity and willingness to come along side of us reminds us of this Bible verse:

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17  

We are giving God thanks for everything! And we want to thank you as well.  We are so very appreciative.  The ways that God has chosen to provide for Ryan and encourage us are incredible.  He has gone out of his way to show His love for us and for Ryan…and we pray that you too will have a deeper understanding of His deep love for you through this all. 

             

             Many of you have asked about the concert in New York.  We had a BLAST!  Our dear friends Adam and Jamie came with us.  We left at 4:30 in the morning and rolled into NYC around 3:30pm.  A really good friend of Jamie’s, Anna, invited all of us to stay with her in Queens- so we checked in, took  the subway to Manhattan, got some dinner at a local deli and then went to Webster Hall.  The doors opened at 6:00 and we were greeted by the energetic 46NYC crew, including Graham Bunn, who hosted the event.  Chris Suiter, from North Carolina opened and then Graham took the time to introduce us to all those who came out to support Ryan through the concert.   The CAB played an incredible acoustic set after which we were able to meet many of the people who came to the show.  So many people wanted to share their own stories with us (that were very moving) and others wanted to find out how do more to advocate for Reece’s Rainbow kids and Ryan.  The night continued on from there with an after party at the Pourhouse.  This mama was tired! But, oh what a great night!   There are still concert shirts available- and they are super soft! You can find them by clicking here:  46NYC womens shirt or here 46NYC mens shirt    And, to those of you who were there at the show…leave a comment, we would love to stay connected with you!        

             

             46NYC had the goal of raising $5,000 over the course of the night.  Unfortunately, some of the costs to put on the show were much higher than anticipated and there were other unseen costs that crept in...but that didn't stop 46NYC.  46NYC has pledged, as a business, to cut a check to Reece's Rainbow in Ryan's honor for $2,500 and have reaffirmed their willingness and desire to continue to advocate and raise funds for him.  We continue to be amazed at their generosity and perseverance...and the amount of fun that they can pack into anything!                  

              Saturday, the day after the show, Chris and I were treated to a day in NYC- I am talking the Natural History Museum, Central Park, China Town, dinner under the Brooklyn Bridge, and a night in Time Square…the whole trip was unbelievable.  If you ever go to NYC, go with people who love it there. We couldn’t have had a better time!!  Even the ride home was a treat; 10 hours with dear friends we love sharing life with- wow! What a weekend.   We came home to our girls, lovingly cared for by Chris’ parents and boy, did they have a lot of fun too!  We have SO much to be grateful for.  

               

                 More updates on the adoption process coming soon.